Paper Psychology by Angela Chen                      Articles
Often people (well…smart people that is) wonder about the usage of paper.  Why is paper important?  What is
paper made from?  And of course… How does paper define a person?

Firstly, paper is important because we can write on it.  Obviously, if you want to get a point across but the
person you’re talking to cannot hear you, you can write it down on paper!  Isn’t that great?

Secondly, paper is made out of trees.  Yes trees.  And trees are made out of wood.  Therefore, paper is made
out of the wood of the trees.

     If you don’t understand that, use the symbolic logic proof.
     P → T
     T → W
     Therefore, by using the Chain Rule or Syllogism, one can conclude that
     English:  Paper is made out of wood.

     Easy enough?  Let’s move on.

Paper can easily define a person.  Here is a list of “types” of paper that can prove what kind of a person a
certain person is…

Construction Paper:  an artist eh?  I should have guessed.  Of course an artist would use colorful paper!  
That's the point of Construction paper…IT’S COLORED!  
   What’s that you say?  You’re using it for a school project?  
Stop denying that you’re an artist!
Computer Paper: you’re definitely a plain and bland person.  What can I say?  If you preferred colored paper,
then you’d be much more vibrant!  

Looseleaf Paper:  Now Looseleaf can be characterized into two different groups:
Wide-Ruled Looseleaf: This is sucky looseleaf that stupid (but clever) people use.  Did you ever have to
write a 10-page essay in class?  Well of course, you just have to pull out your wide-ruled looseleaf because
you know that you can fit only, hmm…, let’s say, what, 3 WORDS on a page?!? Of course, this gives you the
head start.  In about no time at all, you have finished that essay, you wide-ruled looseleaf cheater.
College-Ruled Looseleaf: Now this is the looseleaf that actual smart people SHOULD BE USING!  No
wonder why it’s called college-ruled; it’s for the smart folks in college!  That’s right – next time you want to
impress a teacher, just use college-ruled and cram in all those words.  She’ll be amazed at the quality AND
quantity of your work (that is, of course, if the quality is indeed good)

Cardboard: Cardboard isn’t actually paper, but I guess it is made out of wood.  Now, if you like to write on
cardboard, you’re obviously homeless because you can’t afford to get actual paper.  HAHAHAHA! *sigh* I crack
myself up…
   Well…That’s it folks.  I hope you enjoyed this section on paper psychology.  Is it 100% true?  I doubt it.  But
the next time you see someone using wide-ruled looseleaf, smack them upside the head unless they have a
REALLY good reason.  Toodles for now!